RUGBY POSITIONS 101 part one (THE FORWARDS)

There have been many attempts to describe the complex roles and responsibilities of each member of a rugby team and the dynamic interactions that take place on and off the pitch. M any of these past attempts have been accurate, many have been precise, and many have been humorous. Most give entirely too much credit to the backs, despite their best intentions. (Just for the record I am neither for the  backs nor forwards, the ref seems like a safe option for now)

Below is a breakdown of the different positions on a rugby pitch. It is intended for “educational” purposes as well as entertainment purposes. If you’ve never seen a rugby game before, you may be better off reading Wikipedia for a more sterile explanation.

FORWARDS:

PROPS: These warm, friendly chaps go through life with healthy, albeit often toothless, smiles. In general they are SLIGHTLY overweight, although they prefer the term “SOLID”. But don’t let the jolly demeanors fool you: put anything next to a prop’s mouth and may never see it again. They eat constantly if not always to fuel their monstrous aggression in the scrums. Like many forwards, they dream of one day hitting a drop goal in a real game and practice the skill diligently in training. They are loyal and trustworthy and great friends to have around off the pitch.

HOOKERS: The smallest forward, a hooker is known for his crafty ways and cauliflower ears. He is not always the fastest or most athletic man on the pitch, but he manages to get the job done for the full 80 minutes. Hooking and throwing skills are essential  as he is a critical part of any good scrum or lineout. The hooker’s job mandates that he have a bald patch on the top of his head, so don’t bring it up unless you want your face raked in the next breakdown.

LOCKS: Tall and Strong, these giants round out the power house that is the tight five. Also called the second row, they are known for their strength and athleticism, although not necessarily for their intellect. Most were not actually born slow; it is apparent, however, that years of jamming their heads between the front row’s asses have taken a toll on their mental capacities. Never theless, locks remain an essential part of scrums and lineouts and are indispensable in rucking and ball possession.

 FLANKERS: These athletic machines have all the speed, talent and skill of backs, but would rather enjoy the brutality of the csrum than sit idly by and watch the proceedings. They are confident , although not nearly as corky as the backs , and they take great pride in fattening opposing scrum halfs, even if the hit is late.   Such honor is reserved for flankers because they are the most versatile players on the field, capable of  producing awe-inspiring runs,running smart support lines,or playing hard nosed defense if needed.

NUMBER EIGHT: Rounding out the forward pack, this man as no need for a name; rather one refers to him only by number. Sharing many of the versatile and athletic traits of the flaners, he is clearly the most “valuable” man on the rugby pitch. He may be seen running over opposing forward, rucking for the   otherwise helpless backs, or making booming hits in the open field. He has the speed to run around the defense, but would rather run over them if presented with the option. Although he is not as groomed as those in the backline, the number eight is one of the most “handsome” players on the squad.

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          ************** Enjoy the read*********************