Rugby positions101 (Backs)

Scum Half: If one back must be tolerated, it is the scrum half. He is scrappy and loud, and doesn’t shy away from a fight. In fact, he starts them more frequently than anyone else on the team. This sometimes gets him in trouble because he is too small to finish an altercation: usually a forward is required to intervene and save him. A good number nine will rake mercilessly and punch opposing players in the face, or worse, if they don’t release the ball. His passing and kicking skills are developed by necessity only. In reality, he is a forward trapped in a back’s body and would stick his nose in the scrums if allowed.

 Fly Half: The cockiest man on the field, the fly half is never seen in the locker room without his hairbrush and French cologne. The fly half supposedly leads the backs and directs the flow of the game, but he is usually found screaming out incoherent orders and yelling at others to ruck so he doesn’t have to. His passes are rarely as pretty as his face and his flashy runs often result in a loss of yardage or a dropped pass. For his uneducated foot, the fly half enjoys kicking far more than is productive or even healthy. Off the field, he cannot be trusted; as such any self-respecting woman should avoid him at all costs.

Centers: These players like to refer to themselves as locomotives or “freight trains,” although their speed is often lacking and their statures less than impressive. They would do well to spend some time in the forward pack, to learn not to shy away from contact, and embrace physicality. The inside center carries the ball far too often due to his proximity to the fly half and his inability to pass the ball further down the back line. The outside center has fewer chances to knock the ball on, but he never fails to capitalize when the opportunity is presented. To their credit, they have an amazing knack for taking the ball into contact in such a way that it is impossible to win it back. T’s really quite an anomaly. Off the field, they boast of breaking tackles and scoring tries, although everyone else knows better.

Wingers: These speed demons hang around the outskirts of the action so as to keep their kit clean. Wingers will have great fashion sense and can be counted upon to recite tips and trends from the latest issues of GQ. On occasion, they have a chance to break for long runs and excite the crowd, although more often than not they are tackled or pushed off the pitch. Their weak stature also means they tend to be injured quite easily. Wingers look more like soccer players than rugby players, and always have over-inflated egos. On occasion the forwards provide them with an easy opportunity to score, the wingers take all the credit and congratulate themselves by staunchly avoided any contact for the remainder of the game.

Fullback: The last line of defense, the fullback usually crumbles under all the pressure that is put on him. This manifests I various ways including fumbled punts, shanked kicks, and missed open field tackles. If the stars are aligned, he may put together a worthwhile counter attack with the wingers, but this occurrence is far too infrequent to merit discussion. The fullback’s status as a rugby player is questionable as he spends the majority of the game spectating from afar. In fact, this personality continues off the field; at post game functions, he is often seen drinking by himself in the corner. 

and with that i leave you, ladies and gentlemen...ENJOY!!